Naruto Farm
by Lennee
Summary: In an attempt to rid the world of loneliness, the four jounin teachers have sent their students to Animal Farm, the farm for all your animal needs. In other words… pure madness.
1. Meeting the Plan

**Naruto Farm**

**Summary:** The four Jounin teachers have decided that their students need a little "companionship". In an attempt to rid the world of loneliness, they have sent their students to Animal Farm, the farm for all your animal needs. In other words… pure madness. Pairings: ShikaIno, NejiTen, SasuSaku, KibaHina.

**Dedicated to**: Apple-chan (Naruto and Shaman King forever!)

**Disclaimer:** Naruto is not mine. (short and simple)

* * *

**Animal Farm**

"Animal Farm. The farm for all your animal needs," read Sasuke in a monotone voice.

"Who came up with this dumbass idea?"

"Ummm. N-naruto-kun, T-the t-teachers,"

"Teachers? What right do THEY have of sending us here? They don't have any, right Hinata?"

"Shut up loser, you're bothering Sasuke-kun,"

"You're bothering Sasuke-kun, Ino-pig. Stop yelling,"

"I'm stuck on a bus with idiots,"

"EVEN ME, MY NUMBER ONE RIVAL, THE BEAUTIFUL GREEN BEAST OF KONOHA?"

"I think especially you, Lee,"

"I second that. This is so troublesome."

"Food…"

"… … … … …"

It is indeed what you thought it was folks. The Naruto characters are on their way to Animal Farm, sent there by the beloved teachers. Let's revisit that event, shall we?

* * *

_"I WANT A DOG," said Gai, out-of-the-blue at one of the weekly teacher meetings that the four jounins usually had well… every week._

_"Well, I want a cat," Kurenai said, just to show that she wanted something too._

_"I want a fish," said Asuma._

_"I want the sixth volume of Icha Icha Paradise," Kakashi said with a lecherous grin, even if you couldn't really tell behind the mask._

_"I wonder what our students would like, Christmas is coming, we could get them all pets," Kurenai asked._

_"Sasuke'd probably murder his," Kakashi said, "just to get it to shut up at night."_

_"Chouji'd probably eat it," Asuma admitted sadly._

_"MY STUDENTS WOULD TAKE THE UTMOST CARE OF THEM ALL. FOR THEIR YOUTHFUL GLOW WOULD NURTURE THE LITTLE BEAUTIES TO THEIR UTMOST POTENTIAL THEY COULD RECEI-" Gai began._

_"Shut up Gai, Neji'd Gentle Fist it into next week cause it, I don't know, licked a Main House member's hand," Kurenai scoffed._

_"NO HE WOULDN'T. NEJI WOULD NOT STOOP TO SUCH A LEVEL AS ATTACKING AN INNOCENT ANIMAL," Gai yelled._

_"I bet you he would," Kurenai said._

_"HE WOULDN'T," Gai screamed._

_"FINE, LET'S JUST SEE. WE'LL SEND ALL THE KIDS TO ANIMAL FARM," Kurenai yelled, holding up a pamphlet she conveniently had close at hand, "THE TEACHER THAT HAS THE STUDENT THAT TAKES THE BEST CARE OF THEIR PET AND CAN PROVE IT AT THE END OF THE WEEK WINS."_

_"FINE! I WILL PROVE MY YOUTHFUL STUDENTS CAN DO IT!"_

_"Ok, as long as the winner gets the sixth volume of Icha Icha Paradise"_

_"… I don't really care."_

_And so it begins

* * *

_

The bus had stopped in the parking lot of Animal Farm and drove away before anybody **cough** Sasuke, Neji, Shino **cough**, could run back on.

"Well, let's go in then," Sakura said nervously.

Sasuke scoffed, "Like I would lower myself to enter that building of doom."

"I'll go with you Sakura," Naruto said gallantly.

Sasuke glared and walked in before Naruto could make a move and beat him to the door. Everyone else followed suit, except Neji and Shino.

Both of them stood there, Neji gave a sideways glance at Shino and hurriedly followed the others. Shino sighed and followed.

The "farm" was remarkably high-tech. There were stalls that lined the walls, which were made of metal. A neon sign on each door had an animal's name.

"Wolverine, Order Carnivora, Family Mustelidae, Genus Gulo gulo." Tenten read and looked in the window. Only to jump back when an enormous something leapt at her. Tenten quickly walked away from that stall.

"MORNIN'" a loud voice came from the speakers in a very southern tone, "Welcome to ANIMAL FARM. The farm for all your animal needs. You have entered the mammal building, the largest of all the buildings. My name is Ted and I'm here to explain how Mammal farm is organized. To the left are the carnivore mammals, to the right are the omnivores and at the end of the barn are the herbivores. The names, order, family, and genus are listed on the door. If you are interested in anything you see, please press the blue button next to the animal and a specialist will come to talk to you. Thank you for visiting Mammal Farm and have a good day."

Silence filled the barn. The stalls were obviously soundproof, blocking all sound from the occupants within.

Shino voiced everyone's thoughts, "… … …" Not really.

Lee spoke first in a voice drastically different from his normal exuberant tone, "I guess we have to find an animal that we are interested in and press the blue thing."

"That's what the person in the intercom said Lee. Congratulations on your deciphering skills," Neji said dryly.

"Well, you all can stand there until hell freezes, but I for one am actually interested in getting an animal so I'll start looking," Ino said sniffly.

"Hell no, Ino-pig, I'll find a cuter animal than you and I'll name it Sasuke, after the best human in the world," Sakura replied.

"NOT IF I NAME IT FIRST, FOREHEAD GIRL."

Both dashed off to look into all the stalls.

"Ok," Tenten said, "I guess I'll look too."

Everybody dispersed to look at all the animals to choose from, except Neji and Shino.

Both of them stood there, Neji gave a sideways glance at Shino and hurriedly went to look too. Shino sighed and followed.

It was going to be a rather long day.

* * *

A/N So? How is it? Review please and if you have any requests on who gets what animal, please add it to your review along with why you think it should be added and I'll consider it. THANKS! Constructive Criticism and Comments are welcome. 


	2. Meeting the Animals

**Meeting the Animals**

"This is stupid," Neji said bluntly. He was following Tenten, who waswandering aroundthe carnivore section of Mammal Barn.

"Hush Neji. It's Gai-sensei's orders. If we don't follow them, Lee will volunteer to make the team do a million laps around the world."

Neji's face darkened at the "Hush" but arguing against Tenten gave him headaches, so he just grunted.

"Wow," Tenten breathed, looking into a stall.

Neji read the label, "Sand Cat, Order Carnivora, Family Felidae, Genus Felix margarita." Looking into the stall, he didn't see anything. Suddenly, something small and furry leapt at him. Neji jumped back, startled. Tenten laughed, "It seems to like you. I'm going to call the specialist on this one. It's so cute."

* * *

Kiba held Akamaru close to him as he traveled along the stalls, peering into each window. Akamaru barked. "I know Akamaru, why do WE have to get a pet? I've already got you and Kurenai-sensei should know that I take good care of you."

Akamaru barked again. "Seriously, this is stupid. Let's play a prank on these weird hillbillies."

Kiba pressed a green button, then went to the next stall and pressed that button. He went down the entire row, pressing buttons. Akamaru barked and Kiba laughed, "I know, that'll mess them up. We should have some action soon."

Kiba stood and waited for the horde of specialists to come, but only one made her way down to where Kiba was standing.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

Kiba stared, "But, but, huh?"

The specialist smiled, "The hillbillies saw what you did through the secret cameras we have installed. They only sent me because the stall you're standing in front of is for the Gray Wolf, Order Carnivora, Family Canidae, Genus Canis lupus."

* * *

Hinata giggled, watching Kiba's predicament. She was standing directly opposite from the gray wolf stall, looking at the small herbivores. The carnivores scared her.

"Hmmmm. Mouse, Hamster, Guinea Pig, Gerbil, Chipmunk, Squirrel, Prairie dog, oh-," Hinata bent over a stall where a baby jackrabbit was huddling in a corner. It stared at her with wide eyes.

"You shouldn't be old enough to live on your own little guy," Hinata said. Rabbits ate up the garden and her father really wouldn't approve, but… Hinata quickly pressed the button before she could change her mind.

* * *

Sasuke had immediately gone looking in a section he had noticed when the man on the intercom was talking, big cats. They were the kings of the prairie, the jungle, the rainforest. They had power, and Sasuke liked power.

He bypassed the lion, which was lazily chewing on a bone. He skipped the tiger which was sleeping on its… back., with its legs waving in theair.And then he came to the leopard. It was prowling back and forth, occasionally leaping up and pounding the walls. Sasuke read the yellow sign that lay above the information, "Danger! This animal is extremely violent and has not yet adapted to his environment. Retain extreme caution around it."

Sasuke pressed the button; this was the animal for him.

* * *

Lee was staring into the stall at Sasuke's right. "White Tiger, Order Carnivora, Family Felidae, Genus Panthera tigris tigris." The tiger was prancing about in the stall, pawing the air, as if trying to show off its mad skills. Lee nodded, "Yosh! I can feel your energy radiating towards me. You show the sign of the Beautiful Beast. I choose you."

Lee dramatically stretched his finger towards the button. The tiger inside stared at him, theatrics forgotten. Lee pressed the button and shouted, "COME, LEARNED PROFESSOR OF THE TIGER. TEACH ME THE SECRETS OF THE BEAUTIFUL BEAST."

Beside him, Sasuke scoffed. Everyone else in the barn stared and edged farther away as if a centimeter more space would save them from the obvious contagious disease the "BEAUTIFUL BEAST" possessed.

* * *

Naruto didn't know what he was doing there. The only bit of money he had was the bit Iruka-sensei had loaned him. Iruka had thought it necessary that Naruto find himself a pet.

Naruto wanted to buy one of the big cats, but he didn't have a humongous inheritance or a family that really wanted him to find a pet with YOUTHFUL GLOW!

As Naruto neared a stall, something inside him shifted. He stopped, staring at his stomach where the change had taken place. Then he looked up and started walking towards the stall, seeminglydrawn towards it."Arctic Fox, Order Carnivora, Family Canidae, Genus Alopex lagopus."

Naruto laughed, "So that's why. You want a buddy right… Kyuubi."

He pressed the button.

* * *

"This is so troublesome," Shikamaru said. He was sitting with his back to a stall, staring out the window he had situated himself in front of. It was rather irritating because he couldn't quite cloud-watch with the walls restraining most of his line of vision.

Chouji was sitting next to him, eating.

Shikamaru looked up, and asked, "Chouji? Which stall is behind me?"

Chouji stood up and said, "Giant Panda. Order Carnivora. Family Ailuropodidae. Genus Ailuropoda melanoleuca." Except you couldn't tell what he said, because his mouth was full of chips.

Shikamaru wasn't even listening, "Ok, that's great, press the green button please."

Chouji pressed it and sat down with a thump, still eating. Unfortunately for him, he finished all his food. He sat staring at his last bag then saying, "What animal should I get Shikamaru?"

Shikamaru said lazily, "I dunno, what are you looking for?"

Chouji replied, "Something that doesn't take too much work to keep and that I can eat after the time period is over."

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow but didn't comment, "Then I suggest you get the American Bison, Order Artiodactyla, Fmaily Bovidae, Genus Bison bison."

Chouji gasped, "How did you know that? You're so smart Shikamaru."

Shikamaru yawned, turned over and said, "Nah, it's the only sign I can see from here." And then he fell asleep.

Chouji stood up and went to press the button.

* * *

"I'M READY!" Sakura and Ino said at the same time.

They glared at each other. Their stalls were right next to each other. One saying, "Southern Flying Squirrel, Order Rodentia, Family Sciuridae, Genus Glaucomys volans." And one saying, "Sugar Glider, Order Marsupialia, Family Petauridae, Genus Petaurus breviceps." (A/N, in case you didn't know, they look exactly the same. The only difference is that one is a Rodent and one's a Maruspial.)

"My squirrel is so much better than your thing," Sakura sniffed.

"Mine has a better name."

"Mine is cuter."

"Mine will be liked more by Sasuke."

"Mine has a better tail."

"Mine has a stripe."

"Mine is…"

"Mine is…"

And so on, and so on, and so on.

* * *

Shino just sat there the whole time. He wasn't interested in mammals. He was waiting for the Insect Barn.

Neji wasn't interested in the animals at all. He didn't care if Gai punished him. He didn't want something to attach to that would be taken away from him at some point in time by the evil that is the MAIN HOUSE.

* * *

The man that sat in front of all the cameras stared at the strange scenes that were occurring right before his eyes.

He turned to the teachers who were standing behind him. "Well, I have a list of what the students have chosen. Only ten of them have made choices though."

He presented them with a list.

Name: Tenten  
Teacher: Gai  
Animal: Sand Cat  
Sanity: Normal

Name: Inuzuka Kiba  
Teacher: Kurenai  
Animal: Gray Wolf  
Sanity: Below normal

Name: Hyuuga Hinata  
Teacher: Kurenai  
Animal: Jackrabbit  
Sanity: Normal

Name: Uchiha Sasuke  
Teacher: Kakashi  
Animal: Leopard  
Sanity: Below normal

Name: Rock Lee  
Teacher: Gai  
Animal: White tiger  
Sanity: … None

Name: Uzumaki Naruto  
Teacher: Kakashi  
Animal: Arctic Fox  
Sanity: Slightly below normal

Name: Nara Shikamaru  
Teacher: Asuma  
Animal: Giant Panda  
Sanity: Below Normal

Name: Akimichi Chouji  
Teacher: Asuma  
Animal: American Bison  
Sanity: Below Normal

Name: Yamanaka Ino  
Teacher: Asuma  
Animal: Sugar Glider  
Sanity: Not Available

Name: Haruno Sakura  
Teacher: Kakashi  
Animal: Southern Flying Squirrel  
Sanity: Not Available

* * *

"Why did you include sanity?" Kurenai demanded. The man shrugged, "Because I'm worrying about it."

"LEE! LEE WITH THE YOUTHFUL GLOW HAS NO SANITY," Gai cried, literally.

"Wait, why do Sasuke and Naruto have below normal sanity?" Kakashi asked.

"Because Sasuke picked the most dangerous creature in the entire barn and Naruto called himself Kyuubi," the man said.

The teachers looked at each other nervously, hoping the man didn't push any farther in that direction.

"The other two, Neji and Shino, have not chosen. We overhead Shino's conversation… with himself and we think we should visit the Insect Barn next. I can't figure out Neji's animal type however. Maybe birds."

* * *

The students below, not realizing the conversation going on behind their backs were conversing with their specialists (Who we meet in the next chapter).

Everyone has made their choices except Neji and Shino. Visit us next time on Naruto Farm to find out what becomes of those choices.

* * *

A/N Wow. That was the longest chapter I ever wrote. Does the happy dance. ONWARDS! Please review. Thanks. 


	3. Meeting the Specialists

**Meeting the Specialists**

"So, Mr. Troublemaker, what's your name?" the specialist asked Kiba.

"Kiba," he muttered.

"How coincidental it is that you chose to stand in front of the wolf's stall," the specialist said thoughtfully.

She suddenly leapt into the air, "YES! It must be DESTINY! Well, Mr. KIBA, my name is Desutini, and I will be your guide to the amazing animal known as the GRAY WOLF!"

"DESUTINI! CALM DOWN" came a voice from the intercom.

"_This lady's weirder than Lee."_ Kiba thought.

"First of all, let me give you some statistics," Desutini began, "The gray wolf in the stall is a male, he ways approximately 160 pounds. He stands 36" tall at the shoulder and he's 14 years old. He's considered pretty old for a wolf. He's a pretty animal and likes to play with yarn."

"Whoa, I didn't get any of that, except the yarn part," Kiba said.

"I didn't expect you too, standard procedures you know. Plus, since DESTINY brought you two together, NOTHING can change your inevitable FUTURE."

"You're… really spazzy."

* * *

Sasuke stared at the specialist that came down to meet him. The man looked like he had been chewed up and spit back out. He was walking with a cane (his left leg was broken) and there was a bandage wrapped around both hands with dark stains that looked horribly like blood. 

Unsympathetically, Sasuke said, "What's wrong with you?"

"Oh, you know. Taking care of the mon-, I mean the leopard is a little hard. Especially if no one else will do it and give you a break."

"TIMOSHI! STOP COMPLAINING!" came a voice from the intercom.

"Anyways, my name is Timoshi. I am the leopard specialist."

Obviously, Sasuke could put two and two together and understood quite clearly why the specialist looked like he had been run over by a tractor and lived to tell the tale. Of course, him being Sasuke, it only made him more eager to get the leopard.

"Standard procedures, I have to tell you about the mon-, I mean the leopard," Timoshi said with a defeated air as if knowing his broken state would not sit well with the client. This meant he was stuck being the caretaker of the "monster".

"The leopard in the stall weighs 178 pounds, it stands 30" tall at the shoulder, it's a male, it's 18 years old expected to live up to 23 years. It has an extremely fierce personality and is not recommended for those of a timid nature," Timoshi said the last part extremely quickly.

"Great, I'll take it," Sasuke said. He didn't really listen to the entire thing, too busy wondering if the leopard could eat Naruto whole.

* * *

"So you're the one interested in the little orphaned critter," a deep, heavy voice said from behind Hinata. 

She squeaked a jumped, turned around, and looked up. She had to look up because the man stood from 7 feet in the air.

"A-ah, h-hello s-sir, U-um s-sorry."

"Why're you apologizin'? You ain't done nothing wrong. My name is Bairon, I am the specialist for the Black-tailed Jackrabbit."

"W-well, m-my name is H-hinata."

"Hinata. Nice name, I'll tell you some stuff about the poor little beastie behind you. It's an orphan, found it near the body of its mother, father must've been carried off by an 'awk. Siblin's all dead. It's a female. She's 5 pounds, three months old. She'll live up to 6 years if she's taken care of well 'nough. She's a sweet thing, takes her food with no problem. You'll like her. I do."

"T-thank you, s-sir, I a-am very m-much interested. I w-was w-wondering though. W-would she r-ruin a garden?"

Bairon stared down at her with a dark look in his eyes, "I'll tell you Hinata. That rabbit may eat the garden, but only if you let it. If you're the type of lass who keeps her pets up in the house and dresses it up, then by gawds I won't let you have her."

"BAIRON! DON'T BE MEAN!" came a voice from the intercom.

"N-NO sir, I didn't m-mean that. It's just my f-father m-might be w-worried."

Bairon's eyes softened, "I understand. Don't you worry, if you feed the little critter good food all the time, it won't have any problems with no garden. They've got a bad reputation, but those come from the wild ones who don't got much to eat. They're better than they're thought to be."

"I'll take her," Hinata said.

* * *

"HI!" a voice yelled from behind Naruto. 

Naruto whipped around to come face to face with a girl his age. His face broke into a huge Naruto-like grin, "HI! Are you the specialist for the Arctic Fox?"

"Yep, that's me, and who are you?"

"The name's Naruto, who are you?"

"My name's Nikki, who are y- wait never mind. I'm supposed to tell you stuff about the animal in the stall behind you. His name's Kyuu, even though I'm not supposed to name him."

"I like Kyuu, HI KYUU!"

Sasuke winced as he filled out the papers for the leopard, too much Naruto, not good for health.

"Okey dokey then, Kyuu is a male, he weighs 6 pounds, and he's 4 years old. He's related to the gray wolf, coyote, and red fox. In the summer, the coat of the Arctic Fox darkens to a bluish-brown. The Arctic Fox is one of the world's widest ranging mammals. It feeds on anything it can catch or find, such as birds, lemmings, eggs, mammals, and berries. The mating season is February to May. It can survive temperatures of below -95 degrees F. Nearly 70..."

The man mentioned in the previous chapter groaned as he watched the Arctic Fox screen. "Nikki is always over exuberant," he told the teachers.

"… found across the polar regions of mainland North America and northern Scandinavia east to Siberia and nor-"

"NIKKI! JUST STOP!" came a voice from the intercom.

"Huh? OH right, well, that's all about the Arctic Fox. Hello? Are you sleeping? Naruto?"

* * *

Shikamaru sat next to the stall of the Giant Panda. His specialist had not yet come, but he didn't really care. The stall's occupant didn't seem to care either. He could hear gentle snoring sounds coming from inside. 

His view of the clouds was suddenly obstructed by someone. Blinking, Shikamaru looked up to see an equally tired-looking man standing there.

"Yes?" Shikamaru said.

"I'm supposed to tell you about the giant panda. My name's Riam. Pleased to meet you."

"I'm Shikamaru. I don't really care about the giant panda. Could you skip in informing part and just let me sign the papers?"

Riam nearly danced for joy. Of course, he didn't, it was too much work.

"Ok, but we have to be discreet about it. I usually have to follow standard procedures."

"RIAM! DO YOUR JOB!" came a voice from the intercom. (A/N- I'll just freaking well copy and paste that phrase)

Riam groaned, "Standard procedures, the giant panda is a male, it weighs 260 pounds and it stands 23" at the shoulder. It's 17 years old. I'll get the papers."

Shikamaru could once again see the clouds.

* * *

"Hi, how are you?" sang a voice from behind Tenten. 

Tenten turned around with a smile… and saw no one there.

"Down here."

Tenten looked down and saw a tiny girl who beamed at her.

"My name's Merodi the Sand Cat specialist, pleased to meet you," she sang.

"Umm, hi," Tenten said."

"I'm supposed to tell you about the Sand Cat. It's very cute," Merodi sang.

While Tenten was wondering why this strange little girl was singing everything…

"MERODI! STOP SINGING!" came that voice from the intercom.

"Got it bossman," Merodi said with a huge grin.

"Well, Ms. Lady, I have to tell you some stuff about the Sand Cat. We have a female, it weighs 7 pounds and it's 4 years old. She has the cutest little growl, except she eats nasty stuff like lizards and bugs."

"Uh huh," Tenten said, taking notes.

* * *

"I bet my specialist will be prettier than yours. She'll know everything about my widdle sugar glider," Ino said. 

"Yeah right, my specialist will be as pretty as my Squirrel is cute," Sakura said.

Ino scoffed, "That's not saying much."

"Hello, hello, how are you two ladies?"

Sakura and Ino stared at the two men standing in front of them. Stars shone in their eyes. "My specialist is so cute!" they said at the same time.

They glared at each other.

"Mine's cuter!"

"Yeah right, mine's cuteness way overpowers yours."

The two specialists sweatdropped, "We're twins."

"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!" Sakura and Ino yelled, going back to their argument.

"Well anyways, he's Chip," said one.

"And he's Dale," said the other.

"MINE'S HAS A BETTER NAME!"

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME, MINE'S BETTER!"

Dale yelled over the babble, "I'm the specialist for the Southern Flying Squirrel."

Chip yelled, "I'm the specialist for the Sugar Glider."

Sakura and Ino stopped arguing and said together, "Isn't my choice so much better than hers?"

Dale started, "Well, the Southern Flying Squirrel and the Sugar Glider look pretty much the same,"

Chip ended, "But one is a marsupial and one is a placental mammal."

"CHIP AND DALE! SEPARATE!", came that ever-so annoying voice from the intercom.

Dale sighed, "Come on miss, over here. The Southern Flying Squirrel weighs 5 oz. It's a female and it's 5 years old."

Chip said, "The Sugar Glider weighs 5 oz. It's a female and it's 5 years old.

"SEE! I TOLD YOU MINE WAS BETTER!"

"HOW DOES THAT PROVE ANYTHING EXCEPT THAT MINE'S BETTER?"

… A catfight ensued.

* * *

"Hola Amigo, como estas? Como te llamas?" 

"Munch. What? Munch. Repeat. Munch."

"Hohoho. Tu comas mucho. No es bueno para las chicas."

"ANDRES! ENGLISH!" came you-know-who, not actually Voldemort.

"Si, si, my name is Andres, I be your instructor. Is funny. I Spanish and I instruct on the AMERICAN bison."

"Munch. … Munch."

"You know say much. Just eat, but it ok. Now, that American Bison weigh 2,000 pounds. Much heavy. Like you I think sir. He is a he and has 18 years."

"Good meat?"

Andres smiled, "Si, good meat."

* * *

"YOSH! THE BURNING FIRE OF YOUTH! WHERE IS MY SPECIALIST?" 

Lee was currently standing next to the stall of the white tiger. He had been standing there for thirty minutes. Apparently, his specialist had decided to abandon him.

Gai was making a great trail of destruction in the survey room. "WHERE IS LEE'S SPECIALIST? WHO WILL INSTRUCT LEE ON THE BEAUTY OF THE TIGER?"

"SOMEBODY HELP ME!" came a panicked voice from the intercom.

"Never fear boss, for ACE is here," said a voice from the doorway of the room.

The man swiveled around and said, "ACE, GET YOUR BUTT DOWN THERE AND HELP YOUR CLIENT!"

"Yessir. Butt down," Ace vanished.

Kakashi rubbed his chin, "He'd make a good ninja."

Asuma and Kurenai were trying to restrain Gai.

"IS HE THERE YET? IS HE INSTRUCTING LEE?"

"Heeellooooo. Ready for your lesson?"

"YOSH! PLEASE INSTRUCT ME! MY LIFE AND HEART ARE IN YOUR HANDS!"

Ace backed away, "Whoa now, that's going a bit fast. BOSS, HE'S SCARING ME!"

No reply. He's probably been killed by Gai.

"Anyhoo, the white tiger in that stall is a male. He's gonna be the uke, I pity him. He reaches sexual maturity in one year. He weighs 200 pounds."

Lee is flabbergasted… He does not comment…

* * *

In the control room, everyone is flabbergasted. 

"That was interesting," Kakashi said at last.

"HE'S SCARRED LEE'S YOUTHFULNESS!"

The man rolled his eyes, "All our specialists have unique traits. That's what makes them all different, like our animals. They all have something that makes them special."

Kurenai sniffed, "That was beautiful."

Asuma, Neji, and Shinodo not get to say anything in this chapter.

* * *

A/N- REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW. Please don't punish me for getting this out so late. GOMEN NASAI! 


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